Introduction

This blog is part two of our journey with Tom Epton, a triathlete whose story began with school exclusions and misunderstandings—and who’s now racing internationally. In part one, From “Naughty Kid” to National Competitor, Tom reflected on his early ADHD diagnosis, disruptive school years, and the life-changing impact of one supportive teacher. In this second instalment, we explore what happened when Tom discovered triathlon at university—and how sport, self-awareness, and freedom helped him turn perceived weaknesses into competitive strengths. Through his journey, we learn what it really takes for neurodivergent athletes to thrive: agency, trust, and environments that flex to fit them—not the other way around.

From Rebellion to Reinvention

A constant thread in Tom’s story is the importance of freedom—particularly the freedom to shape his own path. Whether that drive came from past experiences or was always part of who he is, one thing is clear: he began to thrive once he gained more independence.

In school, when forced to conform to a system that didn’t understand him—and didn’t help him understand himself—Tom pushed back. But at university, everything began to shift. Sport became a gateway to self-discovery, and with it came a renewed sense of purpose.

As Tom puts it: “Freedom allowed an awakening.”

The Awakening

He taught himself Further Maths A-Level via YouTube to earn a place at university, where he went on to graduate with First Class Honours in Physics. He didn’t follow the traditional student path—he skipped lectures, learned independently, and launched a data science company along the way.

Finding triathlon was another turning point. At Southampton University, the facilities weren’t exceptional, but the athlete-led community was. Tom felt welcomed, supported, and free to be himself. It was within this environment that he began to understand what conditions allowed him not just to cope—but to excel.

…That’s where the deeper patterns in Tom’s story begin to emerge and he discovered the formula to his own success…

1) Freedom to Choose

It’s important to note that neurodivergent people are not inherently incompatible with teams. Tom—and many others like him—have found environments where they can and do thrive. The common thread in these spaces is what he describes as “freedom within conformity.” It may sound contradictory, but it’s not.

Tom recalled being a strong football player, someone others wanted on their team. He shared a common goal with his teammates but was also given the freedom by coaches to express himself within that structure. That balance—clear expectations with room for autonomy—is what made teamwork work for him.

Like many neurodivergent individuals, Tom thrives when he has some choice in what he does and how he does it. This isn’t about avoiding hard work or commitment; in fact, that freedom enables him to focus more and commit more deeply. He doesn’t reject structure—he seeks it—but he needs a voice in shaping it to perform at his best.

2) Respect for his own ‘Justice Complex’

A strong sense of justice is an often overlooked but deeply important trait in many neurodivergent individuals—and Tom is no exception.

As a child, he became deeply frustrated in situations he saw as unfair, sometimes expressing that frustration through what was labelled as “bad behaviour.” As an adult, he manages it better—but largely by avoiding environments where unfairness is common. Could this be part of what drew him to a solitary sport like triathlon?

It raises a bigger question: How many neurodivergent individuals are driven away from teams and organisations by rigid, ‘unfair’ systems they can’t navigate?

3) Understanding the WHY

Finally, Tom has to know why.

Many neurodivergent athletes—like Tom— need extra clarity in order to fully engage. When learning to swim competitively, his only request was simple: to be allowed to ask as many questions as needed. He wanted to understand not just what to do, but why he was doing it.

This kind of questioning is often misread as difficult or defiant behaviour, when in fact, it reflects a bottom-up thinking style—one that builds understanding from the details upward. It’s not about challenging authority; it’s about making things make sense.

If coaches and educators had a better understanding of these processing styles, many misunderstandings—and the emotional consequences that follow—could be avoided.

Final Thoughts

Tom’s journey was shaped by a few key people who believed in him at crucial moments. Mrs. Smith, the teacher who "moved heaven and earth" to support him. Ant Gritton, who ran a local cycling studio and gave Tom a job during his first year—where he first learned how to train like a competitive athlete. Physiotherapists who offered discounted care, and coaches like British Triathlon’s Joe Morrison, who volunteered their time to guide him.

Thanks to these allies, Tom was able to turn struggle into strength. His story shows the transformative impact of support, and reminds us that thriving doesn't mean conforming—it means creating the conditions that allow individuals to be their best. His path from classroom chaos to international competition is a powerful reminder that performance isn’t just about talent—it’s about fit, freedom, and the people who make both possible.

Follow Tom on Instagram, and check out his article on Training Peaks: How To Coach Athletes With ADHD From Personal Experience

Key Takeaways for Neurodivergent Individuals

Co-create the structure
→ You can love routine and still need flexibility—what matters is shared control and understanding.
Ask why—because it matters
→ Needing to understand before committing isn't defiance; it's a different way of processing.
Your differences are part of your success
→ The way you work best might be different—and that difference could be your competitive edge.

Key Takeaways for Peers, Supporters, and Parents

See the person, not the stereotype
→ What looks like defiance is often a desire for autonomy or clarity—respond with curiosity.
Support can be quiet but powerful
→ A job, a conversation, discounted services—small gestures of belief can change someone's trajectory.
Belonging beats bureaucracy
→ Inclusion starts with trust and space to be yourself, not a checklist of performance metrics.

Key Takeaways for Coaches, Leaders, and Organisations

Freedom and structure aren’t opposites
→ Neurodivergent athletes thrive with shared ownership—rigid systems often shut them out.
Inclusion isn’t about lowering standards
→ It’s about finding out how people learn, perform, and recover—and designing for that.
Misunderstood doesn’t mean incapable
→ With the right support and conditions, athletes who were once overlooked can excel at the highest level.

This blog post was written by Caragh McMurtry. Subheadings were added by the Neurodiverse Sport team to support readability.

The Formula for Thriving – A Neurodivergent Path to Performance