The Formula for Thriving – A Neurodivergent Path to Performance
Written by Caragh McMurtry. Subheadings added by the Neurodiverse Sport team to support readability.
This blog is part two of our journey with Tom Epton, a triathlete whose story began with school exclusions and misunderstandings—and who’s now racing internationally. In part one, From “Naughty Kid” to National Competitor, Tom reflected on his early ADHD diagnosis, disruptive school years, and the life-changing impact of one supportive teacher. In this second instalment, we explore what happened when Tom discovered triathlon at university—and how sport, self-awareness, and freedom helped him turn perceived weaknesses into competitive strengths. Through his journey, we learn what it really takes for neurodivergent athletes to thrive: agency, trust, and environments that flex to fit them—not the other way around.
Tom Epton.
This blog is part two of Tom’s journey. For part one, see From “Naughty Kid” to National Competitor.
The Formula
Once at university, Tom really discovered his passion for sport—and through sport, he was able to explore and uncover the unique formula to his own success. So, what is the formula for Tom?
→ Freedom to Choose
Like many neurodivergent people, he needs freedom to be able to choose what he does and how he does it.
That’s not to say Tom avoids hard work or commitment—freedom actually enables him to work harder and be more committed. Neither does he dislike structure; in fact, he actively seeks it out. But he only thrives when he has some say in what that structure looks like.
This need to be in control likely stems from a fundamentally different cognitive wiring. People with divergent brains often perform better when their differences are acknowledged and factored in. Unfortunately, they usually aren’t—which means neurodivergent individuals must either advocate for their needs (like Tom), risk being misperceived as arrogant (like Tom), or suppress their needs entirely, often leading to burnout or withdrawal.
Tom Epton.
→ Intolerance of Injustice
Like many neurodivergent individuals, he finds it hard to tolerate social injustice.
This is a common trait among neurodivergent people and is likely linked to a lack of deference to social hierarchy. As a child, before developing self-management strategies, Tom would become extremely frustrated in situations he viewed as unfair. That frustration often showed up in the form of “bad behaviour.”
As an adult, he can tolerate injustice slightly more—but perhaps only because he avoids environments where it exists. Could this be part of what drew him to a more solitary sport like triathlon?
It raises bigger questions: How many neurodivergent people are driven away from teams, clubs, and organisations because of bureaucracy, unfairness, or rigid systems they find both intolerable and unnavigable?
→ Freedom Within Teams
It’s important to say that neurodivergent people are not inherently incompatible with teams. Tom—and many others like him—have found spaces where they can and do thrive.
The common thread in these environments is freedom within conformity. It sounds contradictory, but it’s not. Tom spoke about being a pretty decent football player—someone people wanted on their team. He had a shared goal with teammates and was given the freedom to express himself by team coaches. That was what teamwork looked like to Tom—and it worked.
→ Needing to Know Why
Like most neurodivergent people, Tom needs to know why.
Just as Tom isn’t incompatible with team sport, neither is he resistant to coaching. When learning how to swim competitively, his main ask was that he be allowed to ask as many questions as needed—to ensure full understanding and buy-in.
This is a common neurodivergent trait, often mistaken for being difficult or defiant. But in reality, it’s typically a product of bottom-up thinking—where the individual needs to understand the details first in order to grasp the concept. That need isn’t a challenge to authority—it’s a way of making things make sense.
If coaches and teachers understood more about divergent processing styles, many common misunderstandings could be avoided—as could the emotional fallout that often follows.
Tom Epton.
The Awakening
A recurring theme in Tom’s journey is freedom, particularly freedom to control his own path. Whether that need came from negative past experiences or was always a natural inclination is unclear—but what is clear is how much he’s thrived since becoming more independent.
When forced to conform within an education system that didn’t understand him—and didn’t allow him to understand himself—Tom rebelled. But once he reached university, he began a process of self-discovery, facilitated by his growing passion for sport.
Tom describes it simply: “Freedom allowed an awakening.”
From Rebellion to Reinvention
Tom transformed himself from a struggling teenager into a successful, self-directed young adult. He taught himself Further Maths A-Level via YouTube tutorials to secure his place at university (because that’s how he preferred to learn). While there, he founded a data science and custom software company. He didn’t attend every class—opting instead to work in his own time and space—but he still graduated with a First Class Honours in Physics.
Finding His Place Through Sport
At university, Tom joined the triathlon club and made a lot of friends. One in particular introduced him to others by saying, “He’s someone you shouldn’t like, but you can’t help liking.” That comment says a lot about prejudice, perception, and the importance of looking beyond the surface—especially when someone’s surface doesn’t fit conventional expectations.
Tom attributes his positive entry into competitive triathlon to the supportive athlete community around him. Southampton University didn’t have the best sports infrastructure, but it had something arguably more important: a positive sporting environment created by athletes, for athletes.
Thank You
Ant Gritton, who ran a local cycling workout studio and gave Tom a job in his first year. That’s where Tom learned how to train like a competitive athlete.
Physiotherapists, who offered discounted services.
Coaches like British Triathlon’s Joe Morrison, who volunteered their time to support him.
Final Thoughts
Tom’s story reminds us that thriving doesn’t mean conforming—it means creating the conditions that allow people to be their best. His journey from classroom chaos to international competition is a powerful reminder that performance isn’t just about talent—it’s about fit, freedom, and support.
This is part two of a two-part blog.
→ Read part one: From “Naughty Kid” to National Competitor
Follow Tom on Instagram: @tom_epton_
Check out his article on Training Peaks: How To Coach Athletes With ADHD From Personal Experience
Lessons from Tom’s Performance Journey
For Neurodivergent Individuals:
Co-create the structure
→ You can love routine and still need flexibility—what matters is shared control and understanding.
Ask why—because it matters
→ Needing to understand before committing isn't defiance; it's a different way of processing.
Your differences are part of your success
→ The way you work best might be different—and that difference could be your competitive edge.
For Peers, Supporters, and Parents:
See the person, not the stereotype
→ What looks like defiance is often a desire for autonomy or clarity—respond with curiosity.
Support can be quiet but powerful
→ A job, a conversation, discounted services—small gestures of belief can change someone's trajectory.
Belonging beats bureaucracy
→ Inclusion starts with trust and space to be yourself, not a checklist of performance metrics.
For Coaches, Leaders, and Organisations:
Freedom and structure aren’t opposites
→ Neurodivergent athletes thrive with shared ownership—rigid systems often shut them out.
Inclusion isn’t about lowering standards
→ It’s about finding out how people learn, perform, and recover—and designing for that.
Misunderstood doesn’t mean incapable
→ With the right support and conditions, athletes who were once overlooked can excel at the highest level.
This blog post was written by Caragh McMurtry. Subheadings were added by the Neurodiverse Sport team to support readability.
