Well, We All Need to Be a ‘Gang’ Member, Don’t We! A Personal Reflection by Paul Burrows
Written by Paul Burrows. Subheadings added by the Neurodiverse Sport team to support readability.
This is part one of a two-part blog written by Paul Burrows, an Autistic and Dyslexic sports advocate who has worked across grassroots and elite sport—from volunteering at Special Olympics events in the 1980s to holding high-responsibility roles today. In this powerful blog, Paul shares his deeply personal journey of finding meaning, identity, and mental wellbeing through sport. From chasing buses in Brighton to ranking among the top indoor rowers in the world, his reflections speak to the importance of finding your “gang” — the people and places that help you feel like you belong. For part two, read ‘Paul Burrows - Finding Stillness Through Movement’.
A Quote to Remember
“Sometimes the most brilliant and intelligent minds do not shine in standardised tests, because they do not have standardised minds.”
— Diane Ravitch
Paul Burrows
Writing the Hardest Blog Yet
I have written a number of blogs recently and have always found the process of recording my thoughts on any given subject easy. A bit of head space thinking then bang, it's written. Writing this blog has however been extremely difficult because it has required me to get to the very root of who I am.
To complete the task, I have had to deconstruct why I play sport and in turn understand why I play the sport I play, the physical environments I thrive in, the music I listen to and perhaps biggest of all, the social interactions I seek. As you will appreciate, this is pretty fundamental stuff and it’s been a journey. I don’t know if my reasons for doing what I do are standard; but then I don’t have a standardised mind to know the answer to that.
Finding My Gang
Having had my mental health challenged in recent years, following my appreciation that I am neurodivergent; I came to realise that finding and understanding my ‘gang’ was critical. Perhaps some of these words will help you find your sport, if you haven’t already.
I am conscious that whilst I write about sport, I appreciate that the ‘gangs’ I refer to will exist in numerous other spheres: music, the arts, animal care or a thousand and one other pastimes. But for me it has and always will be about sport – it defines who I am.
So, whose gang are you in?
Sport as My Lifeline
As someone who has spent a lifetime in sport both professionally and in an amateur / volunteer capacity, it is only as I come to terms with my own neurodivergence that I understand both why sport is my outlet and, more importantly, how vital it has been and is, to my mental health and wellbeing.
I am an Autistic, Dyslexic, with ADHD traits, who spent his formative years loving sport but struggling to find my sport. I never really found where I fitted in.
Alan Sillitoe;
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner
The Social Disconnect
I was too good at sports to be bullied at school, though I can’t help but feel that today what I suffered would now be called bullying. I was on just about every team going; but I just didn’t fit in. I wasn’t part of the in-crowd and had only a tiny handful of friends. This lack of friends is something I have carried with me my whole life. I just find people let me down when judged against my expectation of them. An expectation that is simply too high. If I say I’m going to do something, I will do it, why can’t others?
I don’t seek friends in my sporting activities; however, I do need people who will help me achieve my own goals both psychological and physical. If I happen to enjoy their company that is most definitely beneficial and is a key part in finding my gang. Finding where I fit. It does all become a bit chicken and egg though.
A Natural Draw to Grit
I’ve tried everything, but found that I wasn’t terribly good at sports that required fine motor skills i.e. racquet and ball sports. Without realising why, I was drawn to sports that require mental toughness and an ability to push myself hard and that coincidentally didn’t have a strong social element to them.
I was a runner, not too shabby at that, with my times for 800m and 1500m placing me well inside the top 10 for my age group nationally. I distinctly remember a 1500m race I ran as a 17-year-old against a fellow athlete who had just won the national schools. Everyone on the start line was saying well he’d win. Was I the only one thinking, ‘oh he will, will he?’ Sure enough, I went flying past him in the last 50m much to his and everyone else’s surprise. It’s that inner steel of wanting to prove everyone wrong that I really started to demonstrate from that age forward.
Running, But Not Just for Fitness
You’ve probably heard of Alan Sillitoe’s book, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner – well that was me. I thought nothing of 15–20 mile training runs where I could be alone with my thoughts, chasing buses through Brighton where I grew up as they stopped for their passengers. The passengers watching me out their windows must have thought I was mad, or just chasing after my dog.
Not Fitting In with Hockey or Rugby
I then dabbled with hockey playing County U18 and U21, but never really fitted in with the social ethos of the sport, sitting off to one side at the end of matches. Likewise with rugby. Despite being 6’3”, and invariably the fastest player on the pitch I always played as a forward. In those days it was ‘you’re tall, you’re a forward’. Again, the social element of rugby was completely alien to me, and indeed confused and repelled me.
Paul Burrows, Nottingham Trent Rowing Club
A Lightbulb Moment with Rowing
I do recall however, at the age of about 12, watching the Boat Race on TV and the hairs sticking up on the back of my neck thinking ‘that is what I want to do’. Rowing however was not a big sport on the south coast when I was young. I didn’t realise it, but I had found my ‘gang’. It just took me a number of years to get back to it.
Sport and Disability: The Bigger Picture
I went to ‘Poly’ as it was known then, Nottingham Trent University as it is now, to do a degree in Sports Science. What particularly attracted me to that course was the element of ‘Sport for the Disabled’ as it was called. I had volunteered at a Special Olympics event in 1982, and seeing the pleasure people with learning disabilities were gaining from sport inspired me. I thought it was great.
At the end of my degree I started working for a charity, the British Sports Association for the Disabled (BSAD), developing sporting opportunities through the sports national governing bodies and organising competitive sporting events. I really enjoyed this period of my professional life, but the pay was terrible!!
Learning to Articulate the Benefits
When working for BSAD, I co-developed a training course for local authority workers promoting the provision of sporting opportunities for people with all types of disability and impairment. One of the sessions in this course was entitled, ‘The benefits of sport’. We knew that we should talk about the benefits, but thinking back with horror we never really knew what to say, so the 45-minute session normally lasted only 10 minutes.
Today, I could speak for a whole day on the benefits of sport both physical and mental. I would focus primarily on the mental health benefits, which I believe are particularly pronounced for those of us who are neurodivergent. Ultimately it is about creating that sense of belonging and oneness that can help us feel whole and part of something beyond ourselves and our own heads. It is also about calming the noise in our heads.
Paul Burrows, Rowing
Why Rowing Was My Gang
It was only when I finished my degree that I took up rowing. I gained entry to my ‘gang’, but it is only now, nearly forty years later that I am beginning to understand why it was my gang.
First and foremost, it was the social or relationship side of rowing that made me feel like I fit in. People who didn’t drink, people who were 100% committed to achieving a goal and because of the level of commitment required, an activity that filled a relationship void in the rest of my life. As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t really have friends; I wouldn’t even really say the people I rowed with were friends. They were acquaintances with a shared goal, winning; and that was sufficient for me.
Does that perhaps re-define what social relationships can be?
… For part two, read ‘Paul Burrows - Finding Stillness Through Movement’.
Takeaways From Paul’s Story
For Neurodivergent Individuals:
Your team doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
→ Shared focus and goals can create belonging without traditional friendship.
It’s okay if finding your “gang” takes time.
→ When you do, it can bring identity, confidence, and calm.
Sport can be your space for self-regulation.
→ It doesn’t need to be social — structure and solitude are valid too.
For Peers and Supporters:
Presence can mean more than words.
→ Quiet companionship might be preferred over conversation.
Let people just be.
→ Avoid pushing social norms that may not feel natural or comfortable.
Support exploration, not expectation.
→ The right sport or hobby might take time and trial to discover.
For Coaches, Leaders, and Organisations:
Not everyone is in it for the social side.
→ Build spaces where focus and commitment are what matter most.
Rethink what inclusion looks like.
→ Belonging doesn’t always require social interaction.
Small changes can have big impact.
→ Inclusive team culture starts with recognising diverse needs and motivations.